Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
