Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
why do cheetos always look like penises
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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