just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
