i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
