He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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