Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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