just come out here and I will go home with you...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
