so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
