Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
