No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
