Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
