Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
