he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
