she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
