This house was built for laser tag.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
