'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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