butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
