I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
