Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
