he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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