Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
