New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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