i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
