so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
