My first STD was from a foam party
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
