She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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