There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
