you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
