I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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