i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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