We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
