college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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