I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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