your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
