oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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