It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
