I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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