I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
