Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm really into asian looking animals
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
