it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
