Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
