Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
