Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
