Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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