I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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