I got chris browned last night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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