Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
