I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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