that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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