Kiss
Puke
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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