you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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