We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
