Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
