She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
